Three Words

I heard three words today.

The first set made me so happy: "It's a girl!" Of course, we already kind of knew that from our early sonogram at 16 weeks. We were simply glad that our doctor's visit at almost 22 weeks, confirmed that. Otherwise, our little boy was going to look strange in that Little Sister outfit I bought!

Then the next set of three words came.

Velamentous Cord Insertion

Now, if you google those words (if you dare) it paints a very messy picture. I should have NEVER looked up those words because when I did I saw these words: stillborn. That was the main word that stuck out to me and I cried when I saw it.

Im not an expert and my head is still sort of foggy, but the jist of what this all means is this: instead of the umbilical cord inserting correctly into the placenta, it sort of stopped early and only attached to the membranes. So far-this hasn't seemed to affect Brooklyn in a negative way. She's about 1 pound as she should be and measures correctly with the due date. Of course, she's as cute as can be too! However, this could affect things from here on out in a very dangerous way. It could prevent her from growing and putting on weight because of not getting the necessary nutrients. It could also cause, realistically, fetal death. The statistics I've read show that 95% of undetected cases end in stillborn. The upside is that our case is detected! My doctor knows and told me that she will be watching me very closely. I will have an ultrasound EVERY time and will probably start weekly stress tests at some point to make sure that no distress is going on with the baby. I'll have to be ever mindful of fetal movement as well. My doctor told me to try not to be overly-concerned (yea, right) and that many times this all turns out just fine. Some other possibilities were thrown around: scheduled early c-section, being one of them. I suppose we will see how this all plays out.

Im really trying to be optimistic and trust right now, but am really struggling. I've come so far after a lot of loss, and my worst fear is to have to deliver a baby that's not living. Im not sure how anyone would ever get through that.

Yes, I know....sort of a "gloom and doom" mentality, but that's where my mind always seems to go first.

I would just ask that you pray for this baby, mostly. Pray that she continues to grow and remains healthy. Pray that we are all able to hold her and enjoy her in a few months. Pray that we can watch her grow just as we are doing with Maddie.